In Her Name Foundation
June 30, 1976 seemed like an ordinary summer day in the small town of Hays, in western Kansas. It was warm, breezy and cloudless. At that time, Hays had a population of about 15,000 and was mostly known for its waving wheat fields, endless summer sunrises and sunsets. You never had to search for your car keys because you left them in the car. Nor, did you worry about the house key because the door was always unlocked. But, it was that seemingly, ordinary, summer day that changed my life forever.
My older sister, Carla, 20, and I, 14, had just finished lunch and we were sitting on the front porch making plans for later that day. She would be home from work by 500 pm and would meet me at my softball game at 600 pm. I watched Carla cross the yard to the sidewalk, walk down the sidewalk, and turn to wave goodbye at the alley. She wore a maroon short sleeve cotton blouse and blue jeans. Carla headed back to work at Purdy's Pharmacy where she worked as a pharmacy technician. She was home for the summer after completing her junior year, and first year of Pharmacy school at the University of Kansas.
That was the last time I would ever see her or hear her voice. I have played that scene over in my mind countless times ever since.
That evening came and softball finished...no Carla. I thought it strange that she wasn't at my game. I remember thinking maybe she went out with friends or lost track time. It was different though.....I sensed something was wrong. Carla was at all my games, and would have never said she would be there and not show. Darkness fell and midnight passed, Carla was still not home. My parents began to worry calling friends and neighbors. Cars would pull in and out of the driveway all night and on into early morning with nothing to report. July 1, the following morning around 200 am, my dad found her bike in the ditch along her favorite route. But, there was no sign of Carla. She had gone on a bike ride after work and never returned home.
Time stopped as the number days when Carla went missing grew. I lived in suspended animation. Relief from worry only came with sleep at night, but returned every morning with a heavy weight. The waiting days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months. It was on the 84th day, just shy of 3 months, when we got the news.
On September 22, 1976, Simon Roth, District Attorney, parked his car at the curb in front of our house. He passed me standing on the lawn with a neighbor. His head was down and he said nothing. He didn't need to say anything. I knew it was over. They found Carla in a remote area 30 miles southwest of Hays by Cedar Bluff reservoir. Her life ended way too soon by a heinous murder. She was one of five that lost their lives by the same person over a two year period.
What is a 14 year to do with all that grief and worry? I clung to each day trying to find hope, and to each phone call that there might be news. It was paralyzing at times not knowing what happened to Carla. Just taking in the next breath was exhausting.
School started mid August as did tennis tryouts. Carla and I loved playing tennis together, and we had played many times earlier that summer. I knew she would want me to keep playing, so I picked up a racket and started swinging. I remember thinking that maybe I could will her back home if I retraced our steps.
The fall of 1976 marked the start of my freshman year of High School. My first tennis tryout failed miserably. The preseason tournament determined my ladder number. I started #18 of 24 players. But, to Hays High School tennis coach, Donna Cooper, that didn't matter. I was a young adolescent that needed to be nurtured and encouraged. She saw my potential and believed in me. In turn, taught me to believe in myself. I worked my way up from #18 to #4 on the challenge ladder qualifying for the regional tournament my freshman year. My sophomore year I took over at #1 singles and remained there until I graduated in 1980. I won the girls state singles championship the fall of 1979, and earned a full scholarship to Wichita State University.
Winning the state singles championship and earning a full collegiate scholarship were amazing accomplishments. But, looking back 44 years later, what I remember most is Donna Cooper my high school tennis coach. The day we got word about Carla was mid week and I had tennis practice. What was I to do with myself? My parents were swamped with grief, and my older brother was away at college. With my heart ready to explode, I got on my bike and rode to practice. I didn't really want to go to practice, but it was all I could think to do. How was I to tell my coach I didn't want to be there? Would she just let me go home? I had a challenge match that day and knew if I tried to play I would crumble. But, something bigger and way beyond my thoughts was at play that day.
Practice was absolutely where I needed to be for one small moment in time. It's exactly that one small moment I continue to carry in my heart today. Mother Teresa is well known for her many quotes. This quote describes perfectly what happened. " We all can't do great things, but we can do many small things with great love." Donna Cooper did one small thing with great love that day. I must have looked in shock. She walked towards me calling my name. She put her arms around me and said, " It's going to be ok....I know you will get thru this. Do you have faith? Faith and time will get you thru this." Those words have carried me to where I am today.
For years I have wanted to pay back that one small thing with great love and do so honoring my sister Carla. Since 2013 I have spent my free time volunteering as a public address announcer for girls sports at Lansing Catholic High School in Lansing, Michigan. Having spent countless hours watching my two sons play basketball, football, and run track, I noticed how the girls games and events were often overlooked. Sometimes no announcer at all or one that frequently mispronounced names. The girls would laugh it off and maybe have a new nickname for the rest of the season. I never or seldom noticed this to be the case during boys' events.
It is my passion to see that girls get their equal share and to give them a voice and so they can hear their name. Many of them, I am sure, have their own stories. I use my voice to recognize each and every athlete in her special moment. It is that one moment when she hears her name that she knows she is important and she matters. And, in July of 2021 I became the Lansing Catholic head coach for girls tennis. That is one more thing that I do with great love!
Carla was an advocate for equal rights in life and in sports. We talked many times about the tennis greats Billie Jean King and Bobby Riggs battle of the sexes. Carla was also one to use her voice and to stand up for what was right and support those left behind. It is in her honor that I have established In Her Name Foundation. This Foundation's primary purpose is to promote girls, ages 10 -21, participation in sports or sports related activities.
In Her Name Foundation is generating funds to provide scholarships for:
fees to play in sport of choice
funds that would assist obtaining appropriate equipment and uniforms
funds that assist in establishing necessary transportation
funds that would assist in establishing mentorship and internship opportunities
In Her Name Foundation hopes to do many small things with great love by fostering a sense of self and improving self esteem. Maybe in that one small moment in time, like coach Cooper taught me, lives can be forever changed.
“Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.”
- Mother Teresa of Calcutta